- Happiness. Not just for me but for everyone I know and love.
- Financial stability. That's something I'm yet to experience for longer than about three months. Who knows, maybe one day I'll win the lotto or find a big black bag full of cash on my doorstep.
- My own home. I've lived in rented properties since I first left home at 16, not that there is anything wrong with this. It'd just be such a lovely thing to have my own space, a place where I don't have to ask the landlady if I can paint a wall or wonder if the rent is going to jump up suddenly.
- To go abroad. I've only ever left the country once, when I was 11 years old. We went to Menorca and stayed in a flat. The swimming pool was good but it rained pretty much the whole time we were there. It would be amazing to experience more of the world as an open minded adult....to a lot of people the fact that I've never been anywhere is a bit of a shock as these days it's more normal for people to go globe trotting. It's just never been possible.
- To find what it is I really want to do and to bloody well do it. I fear that one is the hardest of all the wants I have. I'm 30.....by now I sort of expected that I'd be in some form of career or have set something up on my own.....instead I've been hopping from job to job with large periods of illness inbetween. My Dad always used to tell me it's great being good at lots of different things but I'm starting to disagree. I'm pretty certain that people who are really really bloody good at one thing find it much easier to focus on that one thing and do it well. I'm sort of good at a few different things but can never seem to pin down one to really go for. Am sure I'm not alone in that though.
- To be mentally and physically well. I'm working hard on this one :)
There's a whole bunch of other things that I want in my life but next to these ones they seem sort of superfluous.....I know they're not but that's what it feels like sometimes when faced with the more overwhelming ones!
As I'm starting to cope slightly better with my illnesses I'm finding myself thinking more and more about what I want out of life and feel like there's the spark of a little fire in my belly. I'm going to do all that I can to fan that spark and turn it into a fire that will crackle through me and drive me on to hopefully get some of the things on my want list....
I guess that's all that anyone can do.....try hard, live kindly and hope that one day the world will look at you, smile and give you a helping hand :)